Now I'm living with a man that it hurts to be in the same room with and we have a lease that goes till April or I pay a ton of money to move. And I don't have a job.
I want this to not be permanenet. But in order to continue to live I need to move on and not look back or I will just get filled with hate and resentment. That will make our living situation that much more "uncomforatble."
I am no longer his consort and I will not play in the SCA for some time as I can not bare the thought of having to see him with other women. Just knowing of the three that took my place over the last month makes it difficult for me to want to even be seen at my own event. Neither of them will be there but lots of people know about them. I feel like such a fool.
So my job ends on September 9th, My event is September 23rd to 25th. I want to go back to school or do something to take my mind off the pain of my failed relationships. But that looks increasingly intimidating and unlikly and so here I sit.
A piece of drift wood at sea. Subject to the whimes of the tide and broken.